Shaking my head at this one

I’m all for finding ways to end gun violence and to support women fleeing from domestic violence. I spent several years serving on a women’s shelter board – the stories women fleeing violence are tragic and their strength is admirable. But this? I don’t get it.

A Toronto woman, Nicole Osbourne James, has started her own campaign to end gun violence. Admirable. Her idea? To have women withhold sex from their gun-toting partners. James has this to say:

“The idea is that we, as women, should take responsibility and ownership of the men in our lives.

Really? I had no idea I should take “ownership” of my partner.

James goes on:

“Listen, we do use sex to get what we want,” James said. “My man comes home late and I’m mad — there won’t be any action in that moment. We do it for minimal reasons, why should it be different if he’s out gangbanging?”

Sounds like a rather manipulative relationship.

A few points:

  • Men and women don’t “own” each other.
  • The premise that women’s greatest power is their vaginas is ridiculous.
  • Women aren’t responsible for men’s actions. And they shouldn’t be put in a position, like this, that compromises their own safety.
  • Sex shouldn’t be a commodity in a loving relationship, nor used as a negotiating tool.


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